South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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