Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
