is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
