Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
