just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
