Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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