It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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