Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
