my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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