so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
