it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
