But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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