This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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