Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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