im about as happy as oj after his trial
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
