Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize