Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
