dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
