I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
