Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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