first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
