im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
