there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
