Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
