Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
