i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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