I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
