How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
