Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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