im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
