if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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