Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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