ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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