he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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