I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
