I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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