I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
