I want to stick my p in your. b.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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