Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
They have beer where we have blood.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
