i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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