I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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