Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
