You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
soo... how was my night?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
