I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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