Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
sarcasm needs its own font
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
