Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
