READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
