Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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