if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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