Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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